Intimacy and Connection in Pregnancy, Postpartum, & Beyond: Strengthening Your Bond Through Exercises
Pregnancy is a time of profound change—not just physically but emotionally and relationally. As a midwife, I often see couples navigating shifts in their intimacy, both in how they connect emotionally and physically. Many people assume intimacy is only about sex, but in reality, it’s much broader—it includes emotional closeness, deep conversations, physical touch, and shared experiences.
During pregnancy, intimacy can sometimes feel different due to hormonal changes, body image concerns, fatigue, and shifting roles. But rather than letting these changes create distance, they can be an opportunity to deepen your bond. In this blog, I’ll share simple yet powerful intimacy exercises that you and your partner can do to stay connected during these special times.
Why Is Intimacy Important During Pregnancy & Beyond?
Maintaining intimacy throughout pregnancy and postpartum has benefits for both partners, including:
✔ Strengthening emotional closeness and trust
✔ Reducing stress and anxiety
✔ Boosting oxytocin levels (the "love hormone"), which helps with relaxation and bonding
✔ Preparing for the teamwork needed in labor and parenting
Now, let’s dive into some practical exercises to enhance intimacy with your partner.
1. Eye Gazing for Deep Connection
This exercise helps partners reconnect on a non-verbal level, fostering trust and emotional closeness.
How to do it:
Sit comfortably facing each other, holding hands if you’d like.
Set a timer for 3-5 minutes.
Look into each other’s eyes without speaking.
If you feel emotions rising, breathe through them and stay present.
Afterward, share how you felt during the experience.
This may feel awkward at first, but it’s a powerful way to feel truly seen by your partner. You may laugh at first. This is normal and okay! Lean into it! Giggle with each other and don't say anything. Once the laughter settles, you'll notice you can fall into a comfortable silence with your partner.
If you're struggling to maintain eye contact at first, start by noticing their facial features. Do you love their smile? Do you notice the creases next to their eyes when they smile at you? How about their laugh lines? Notice a strong jaw line or the way their nose slightly turns upwards?
From there move to their eyes! Notice all the colors. Notice they have more hooded eyes. Check out their amazing eye lashes. After you're comfortable with that you can start the 3-5 mins.
Take your time with this, there is NO RUSH!
2. Slow, Intentional Touch
Physical touch is a way to maintain intimacy, even if intercourse is less frequent during pregnancy & postpartum.
How to do it:
Take turns massaging each other’s hands, feet, or shoulders.
Use slow, gentle strokes with the intention of showing care, not just relieving tension.
Communicate about what feels good and stay present in the moment.
This kind of touch releases oxytocin and helps partners feel nurtured and connected.
Intentionally hold hands. Notice how your partners hand feels in yours. How much bigger/smaller their hand is. How they curl their fingers around your hand. How they rub the top of your hand with their thumb.
Take a shower together take turns washing each other
3. Gratitude and Love Notes
Expressing appreciation is a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your bond.
How to do it:
Each night before bed, take turns sharing one thing you appreciate about each other.
Alternatively, write little love notes and leave them in places your partner will find them (on the mirror, in their bag, or on their pillow).
Focusing on gratitude helps shift the energy in your relationship toward love and appreciation, especially during stressful moments.
You can keep a journal where you write back and forth with each other! This allows a nice slow start to notes and writing out gratitude. Having an intimacy journal can keep things private between you and your partner. It gives you the privacy to write out what you feel in your heart.
4. Partnered Breathing
This exercise is particularly helpful in preparing for labor while also deepening your connection.
How to do it:
Sit or lie down together in a comfortable position.
Place your hands on each other’s bellies or chests.
Inhale together for four counts, then exhale for four counts.
Continue for 5-10 minutes, syncing your breathing rhythms.
This creates a sense of harmony and calm, reinforcing the teamwork needed for birth and parenthood. It also helps us remember to slow down and take time to nurture our connections with others.
5. Storytelling and Dream Sharing
Taking time to dream together about your baby’s future strengthens your emotional connection.
How to do it:
Ask open-ended questions like:
"What are you most excited about in becoming a parent?"
"What values do you hope to pass on to our child?"
"How do you imagine life will change after the baby arrives?"
Share memories from your own childhood or dreams for your baby’s future.
These conversations deepen your bond and build a sense of teamwork as you prepare for parenthood. This is another activity that can be added to an intimacy journal! You can add in fears, times you felt super supported by your partner, and funny memories you both share. Sometimes a journal can help if intimacy is difficult due to past traumas. it allows you to be open and honest without having to be face to face with someone when you're just starting your intimacy journey!
Final Thoughts: Nurturing Intimacy for a Stronger Relationship
Pregnancy & Postpartum are times of transition, but it doesn’t have to create distance in your relationship. By intentionally practicing these intimacy exercises, you and your partner can strengthen your bond, build trust, and prepare for the incredible journey ahead.
Every couple's intimacy looks different—what matters most is finding ways to stay connected in a way that feels right for you. Whether through eye contact, touch, shared breathing, or simple words of gratitude, nurturing your relationship now will create a solid foundation for the new chapter of parenthood.
Love and be loved my friends,
XOXO
Midwife Delk
Comments